你是我的一面鏡

又一個weekend, 又一次出走
passport剛在這星期renewal 得張回鄉咭的我 只好去偉大祖國散心
感激在國內工作的朋友帶我去玩 今個星期真係過得苦

早幾日 跟朋友的前女友出去飲野 而被朋友狠狠地鬧左獲
因為2個被遺棄的女人俾人覺得會講盡前男友的壞話掛? 我無深究亦無追究
之後 因為朋友生日 收到前男友message叫我唔好去0個個birthday party啦，因為佢要去
睇完佢message，除左唔開心，仲好心寒
分手後 比變成陌生人更可怕 因為我唔會同陌生人講叫佢唔好晌我面前出現
但我的前度無賦與我基本的人權
係ge, 大家分開左 應該以自己感受行先 但真係要唔理會對方感受咩?
我讓步 我後退 佢唔想見到我 我唔去 失戀無令我變懦弱 而是令我更溫柔

講返friday night out, 我識左一個男仔 訓醒就收到佢message "miss you so much"
我問佢 你連我落左妝的樣貌都未見過 點樣可以miss me so much呢?
"just want to say it, feeling is feeling, and i really mean it" 佢答我
之後佢再繼續講 話我應該要俾機會自己 打開個心先可以感受得到佢的真心...
天呀!!!!
叫完出後之後 我知我唔可以同佢正常溝通 我send左一個極長的message俾佢
"When I talk to you I really feel like talking to myself 2 years ago. I was just like you, when I feel like it, I want to have it. When I want to have it, I try my best to get it. But now, I would rather to understand why I like it at the first place, to understand myself if I want to have it or not and how can I have it and try not to lose it again"

對住呢個咁心急的男仔 就好像照住一面鏡
分手後 我試過迫前度同返我一齊 就好似呢個男仔迫我打開我個心俾佢一樣

下一段戀愛 我會好似我覆佢的說話一樣，很多事情 絕對係心急不來的。
當然包括healing及再一次戀愛。